13 - When The Bird was born I was completely unprepared for how the lack of sleep and the hard core colic he had would affect me. HandsomeLuke would come home from work and I would be curled on the couch cuddling the Bird close, crying as my baby cried. My postpartum depression was crippling, it fed on my existing anxiety disorder and just totally overwhelmed me. We got through it and I healed with the grace of God. (truly! Ask me sometime about my conversion experience!) And The Bird has no memory of those first dark days, except perhaps a sensitivity to my mood (he is the most perceptive child). Tiny Z is a whole new experience. He is quiet and happy. He will sit for an hour or more just cooing and looking around him. I am not able to just enjoy it in quiet because I have a big boy to chase after, but every now and then, like this afternoon when his big brother took a long nap and he didn't, we spend some quiet time together. He smiles at me, and I talk to him. And I offer up a little prayer for both experiences as a mother. Because both experiences have made, are making me stronger.
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